By Kevin de l’Aigle
I am so glad I got to meet Dolly Parton on a freezing January day in New York City, 25 years ago in January of 2001.
At that time, I was 29 years old. Dolly was 55. It gives me such perspective now that I am turning 55 this year. Even though this brief meeting was 25 years ago, the memory seems fresh. That is the level of presence that Dolly always had.
I had stood out in the bitter January cold outside Tower Records near Lincoln Center in New York with my Irish friend, Francis, waiting in line for a meet and greet with Dolly and a chance to get an autograph. The line moved surprisingly quickly, probably since people wanted to get out of the cold and get their moment with Dolly.
When I got up to the table where she was signing autographs, I was more than a little nervous, as she looked radiant in her red leather jacket, her platinum wig and her long red nails (And this was long before virtually everyone had long acrylic nails!).
Dolly made me feel at ease instantly as she asked my name and autographed my poster from her just released album “Little Sparrow,” and dedicated it to me. I somehow found the composure to tell her that I was grateful to her for always being an ally and a champion to those who are “different.” She took my hand, held it and said, “Thank you. I think everybody should be treated with respect.”
I have to say that I was blown away, and I will cherish that memory forever.
I had been bullied by kids growing up for being “different” like Dolly had been bullied wearing her “Coat of Many Colors.” I had been ridiculed by teachers at a “Christian” school, the same as Dolly was ridiculed by a teacher who held up her lunch pail containing biscuits and gravy every day for all the kids to see.
As Casey Cep wrote in The New Yorker this week, “Dolly Parton belonged to a beloved category: the outlaw Christian, who loved Jesus and refused to hate anyone else.” She was the granddaughter of a Pentecostal preacher, just as I am the nephew of a Pentecostal preacher.
Dolly’s mother’s family was from South Carolina. Just as my mother’s family is from South Carolina. In fact, my parents caught one of Dolly’s early performances at the old North Augusta High School auditorium in 1974. She was a “honky-tonk angel,” who judged nobody and had respect for the dignity of every human being.
She turned that ridicule and judgment into her super power, enabling millions of kids to have books to read. Add in her immense talent, intelligence, nerve and determination, and she became a national treasure and a beacon of light and hope for all.
In the Spring of 2020, I listened to her music nonstop for many hours, as I drove back down south to get out of the pandemic sirens and gloom of New York City. I drove west across the mountains to get away from people, and I thought about Dolly’s story of survival and unbelievable thriving after growing up with nothing in those hills.
Little did I know that at the time Dolly was donating $1 million to fund critical early-stage vaccine research at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, just as she had supported HIV/AIDS research in the 80s and 90s.
Over the years, I found myself listening to Dolly’s music during challenging and stressful times. I remember listening to her 2023 live interview with Howard Stern as I drove up from New York to Boston with my friend Richie for a stressful work trip. When a difficult job change came earlier this year, I found myself listening to Dolly Parton. Dolly’s passing got me back in touch with friends I haven’t heard from in years, including my friend Francis, who was with me when I met her.
I still have a hard time referring to Dolly in the past tense. In our world of divisive politics, Dolly stayed above it all by practicing “Dollitics,” or letting her actions speak louder than words. Dolly said, “I respect anybody’s beliefs and the fact that they’re willing to stand up for whatever it is. But I’m also the kind of person that if I don’t like where you got it, I can tell you where to put it!”
One thing is for sure – Dolly’s memory will always be a blessing and teach us how to shine our own love and light.
Kevin de l’Aigle is a local hospitality executive and certified yoga teacher. He sings in the choir at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church and enjoys life in downtown Beaufort with his family and three rescue dogs.