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Joy killer

6 mins read

By Chris Suddeth

Competition is the killer of joy. This is an odd, but true, premise.

Recently, in a personal session I was experiencing, I heard my talented healer friend and colleague echo similar sentiments when she told me, “Expectations are the killers of joy.” How many of us spend major chunks of our time wallowing in our life not turning out the way we expected it would? I know I have trudged through that sludge.

I can practically hear readers vehemently digging in and saying, “Listen, Sutty, if it hadn’t been for a little healthy competition, I wouldn’t be where I am today.” I’ll not argue that point, but I’ll ask this question, What is healthy? Is healthy result oriented? Do the ends justify the blah, blah, blah?

With any form of energy work and spirituality overall, we want to look at ourselves, primarily because there’s only one person you can control in this world and that’s the man in the mirror. (Reference Michael Jackson’s hit song.)

Granted, we don’t live in a vacuum, but when we compete, expect, and compare ourselves to others, we are distracting from our life’s work, whatever it may be. Life isn’t a football field or a golf course, although I frequently use sports analogies effectively in sessions. When we focus on keeping up with the Kardashians, we’re shifting the focus away from the essential work that brings our emotions, bodies, and spirituality into alignment with our highest and best.

Wait, there’s a M6 convertible! What was I saying? Listen to those four tailpipes throbbing out the heartbeat of Bavaria. Are those 22” Pirellis? Yep, I think he’s got the Brembo brake package too. “Wham!” I’ve just run into the parked car, while I was picturing myself in the driver’s seat of that other guy’s Beemer, racing through that tight-box 7-speed with his beautiful wife riding shotgun. That’s right, no paddle shifters for this fella. I sure would like to be on his Pottery Barn couch, with his dime wife, overlooking the Atlantic from his oceanfront house.

In reality, the guy’s looker of a wife snores at night and bores by day. Maintenance on that oceanfront house and past due car payments have torn his back asunder; or was it the local loan shark that sent a few kidney punches his way as a reminder that doubling down on the Tide Rolling over Ole Miss was ill-advised, but I wouldn’t see that since I’m smack talking the absent owner of the parked car I just ran into.

And while we’re on the subject of smack talk, it often goes together with competition. Get under the other guy’s skin and it’s like the 12th man in Seattle. Maybe it’s a little good-natured ribbing, which I have been guilty of on the golf course, or you’re razzing about the loss by your competition’s favorite team or political figure. Either way, when we’re tearing down others to get ahead, who becomes the ultimate loser, no matter what the highlight reel looks like? What does shifting the focus away from what we’re doing, what we’re feeling, what we’re reacting to accomplish? Notice how it feels dealing out smack talk and having it dealt out to you. Most don’t go there because it’s too yucky or it never occurs to them. What energy work and spirituality, as a whole, aims to unearth are those feelings that we get a glimpse of when the dust settles and the final locker room door closes.

You’ll have to be quick to notice those feelings because a shiny Rolex is right around the corner. It’s those feelings, in all their forms, we want to become aware of to change behaviors that go against our highest and best.

As we sit back and ponder all this, just try this one thing: Let the clubs do the talking on the golf course and focus on you when you reach life’s 19th watering hole.

When Chris Suddeth (Sutty) isn’t being Mr. Mom to 5-year-old Emma Belle, he balances his time between writing, real estate and supporting other’s healing through his personal blend of Reiki, Theta Healing® as well as teaching three levels of Reiki attunement classes. Contact him at 843-263-2397 or chrissuddethccr@gmail.com.

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