By Doug Pugh
You may recall that Dorothy and Toto didn’t move fast enough to join Auntie Em and Uncle Henry in the storm cellar. A cyclone born of chaos had picked them up and transported them to unfamiliar surroundings, causing Dorothy to exclaim:
“Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
They weren’t.
They had touched down among a group of Munchkins in the land of the Wizard; nice enough people, the Munchkins, but Dorothy wanted to get home ASAP, knowing Auntie Em and Uncle Henry would be worried. She asked the Munchkins for help.
However, the Munchkins had no idea where Kansas was. They advised Dorothy to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City, where a Wizard lived who routinely claimed he could help. Dorothy asked how she should travel.
“You must walk a straight line,” the Munchkins said, “your journey will be through inconsistency.”
Dorothy’s journey to the Wizard, the adventures she experiences, and the interesting folks she meets along the way are the stuff of life and of this classic childhood tale.
Space does not allow recitation of all the challenges Dorothy and her friends faced on their journey. However, I hope to provide enough highlights to help readers forced to navigate paths through glitter.
Soon, Dorothy and Toto encountered a cornfield. In the middle of the field stood a scarecrow. He was stuffed with straw and had a face of painted features.
The scarecrow winked at Dorothy, whereupon she lifted him off the pole he was on. The scarecrow expressed his gratitude and asked what he could do to repay her kindness.
Dorothy asked if he could take them to the Emerald City. But the scarecrow said he couldn’t, because he had no brains and couldn’t form the convictions needed to support an ideology, rendering him unable to choose a path.
“Do you think the Wizard could give me brains?” the scarecrow asked. Dorothy said she didn’t know, but thought he might be able to create an illusion of one.
As they journeyed along, they heard a groan coming from the woods. Dorothy went to investigate and found a tin woodsman. She asked him why he had groaned. The woodsman told her he was unable to move as his joints were frozen shut with rust. He said that if Dorothy were to apply oil to his joints from the nearby oil can, he would be most grateful. Dorothy did.
“You saved my life.” the tin woodsman said, “How did you happen to come this way?”
“We are on our way to see the Wizard,” Dorothy answered.
“Why? The woodsman asked.
“The scarecrow needs brains and Toto and I need to get back to Kansas.” Dorothy replied.
“I would rather have a heart than brains,” replied the woodsman. “Do you suppose the Wizard could give me a heart?”
“If he has one to give.” Dorothy replied.
So, the tin woodsman joined them. But as they started back toward the yellow brick road, a large lion bounded upon their path.
Toto barked and ran at the Lion, alarming Dorothy, who ran up to the lion and slapped him on the nose.
“Don’t you dare bite Toto, she said. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a big beast like you, scaring a little dog like Toto. You’re nothing but a big coward!”
“I know,” said the Lion, hanging his head in shame. “But I come from a pride of the legislator breed, and we don’t have an ounce of courage or pride.”
“Maybe the Wizard can give you courage.” The woodsman speculated, so the Lion joined them on their journey.
Now, a full complement, Dorothy and her new friends soon reached the Emerald City. After purchasing trinkets in the gift shop, they made their way to the Wizard’s throne room to make their pitches.
The Wizard told them he would grant their wishes, but first, they would each have to do something for him.
They all did what the Wizard asked.
So, the Wizard grabbed some bran and put it in the scarecrow’s head providing him with “Bran New” brains. He had the Lion drink a “Bravery” potion, and inserted a heart shaped pin cushion in the chest of the tin woodsman.
They had all experienced the magic of the Wizard!
But the Wizard had deployed this magic from behind a curtain, while directing supplicants to keep their eyes closed and telling them that, though he was invisible, he was everywhere.
But being everywhere at once caused the Wizard to trip over the curtain, fall, and reveal his actual form: an old man with thinning hair, holding a megaphone.
“Whoops,” said the Wizard.
“Now, how will I get back to Kansas?” Dorothy implored.
“By helping me inflate this balloon,” the ex-Wizard said. So Dorothy held the hose while the Wizard exhaled sufficient air to fill a big balloon.
But when the balloon was full, the ex-Wizard floated off, leaving Dorothy behind.
What, at first, appeared to be a setback worked out well:
A group of students from the local elementary school appeared and thanked Dorothy for her lesson on duplicity. As a reward, they presented her with a pair of magic slippers made in class, slippers that, when their heels were clicked together in a joyful leap, could grant a wish.
So Dorothy leaped joyfully, clicked, wished, and she and Toto were back in Kansas.
But it had been a close call.
Doug Pugh is a retired judge from northern Michigan. He and his wife are wintering on Fripp Island and are pleased to be there. He can be reached at pughda@gmail.com.