By Carol Lucas
I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I sat with my mouth agape when a photo of shiny gold high-tops, replete with a facsimile of the American flag and a “puffed-up” T appeared on my television screen. Listening to the newscaster describe these “Never Surrender High-Tops” prompted gales of laughter from which I didn’t emerge until five minutes later.
After gaining my composure, my first thought, honestly, went to the red-sequined shoes that Dorothy wore in The Wizard of Oz. You remember where she clicks the heels of those magic shoes and repeats, “There’s no place like home.”
So off I went to the computer to research those red shoes, which, by the way, were originally silver, but were changed to ruby red for the sake of technicolor limitations back in the late 30s. What I discovered was this: “the slippers represent the little guy’s ability to triumph over powerful forces. As the item that she – a simple teenage farm girl from Kansas – steals from the dictatorial Wicked Witch and ultimately uses to liberate the oppressed people of Oz, they’re nothing less than a symbol of revolution.”
Thus began my idea for what could make the stretch and become a parody. How could I compare the gaudy, gold high tops with a price tag of $399 and a “puffy T” (that part underscores symbolism at its best) to those delicate red sequined slippers?
It seems that the former President made what was called a “highly unusual” stop in Philadelphia on Saturday, hawking the new Trump-branded sneakers at what was called a “Sneaker Con,” a gathering that bills itself as the greatest sneaker show on earth. Apparently the former president was greeted with boos as well as cheers.
Let me take a moment to address what I consider to be the notable aspects of the previous paragraph. For instance the notion that the stop was highly unusual is suspect in that there were those toting signs that proclaimed “Sneakerheads Love Trump.” Are sneakerheads like boneheads, or even bobbleheads, sometimes called wacky wobbles?
Trump was said to be “hawking” the sneakers, much like a TV evangelist would do with special holy water. Maybe he will become known as THE “sneaker con,” although I suspect “con” might make reference to something other than incarceration.
Let’s look at the business acumen of the former president and his ability to sell. If gold sneakers aren’t your thing there is always his cologne, “Victory 47,” which can be purchased for a mere $99 per bottle. And as the television commercials often say, “But wait! There’s more!” The bottle cap is a rendition of Trump’s head. Something just doesn’t smell right, folks!
If my research is correct, it seems that Donald Trump has been hawking merchandise of one form or another all of his life. Last year he reported making between $100,000 and $1 million from a series of digital trading cards that portrayed him, through photo editing, in a series of cartoon-like images, including as an astronaut, a cowboy and a superhero. Then there was the Trump University debacle for which he paid a hefty fine.
But back to those sneakers. The new sneaker website says it is run by CIC Ventures LLC, a company that Trump reported owning in his 2023 financial disclosure. The website states the new venture “is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign.” Really?
This $400 footwear is described as numbered, a “true collector’s item that is ‘Bold, gold, and tough,’ just like President Trump. They are your rally cry in shoe form. Lace-up and step out ready to conquer.” I repeat, “Really?”
The launch of this product came a day after a judge in New York ordered Trump and his company to pay a whopping $355 million in penalties, finding that the former president lied about his wealth for years, scheming to dupe banks, insurers and others by inflating his wealth on financial statements. That on top of the $83.3 million that is to be paid to E. Jean Carroll. With interest accruing daily, not to mention what he owes his lawyers, those “Never Surrender” shoes, as well as that cologne, had better start moving quickly.
And the shoes are … moving quickly, that is. The high tops are already sold out online, with further pre-orders available, according to the website. Customers are being given the opportunity to “be a part of history” by buying the shoes, with only 1,000 pairs supposedly being made.
“At least 10 pairs” will be autographed by Mr. Trump, according to the website selling the shoes. A quick eBay search on Sunday showed a pair of the shoes going for just short of $5,000. One MAGA supporter claimed to have paid $9,000 bidding on an autographed pair.
Just a little addendum to all of this: while the Trump brand is often associated with American luxury, the reality is that Trump shoes are manufactured in various countries around the world. Italy, Spain, and Portugal are key manufacturing locations.
One individual was heard to say, “Not sure which is more depressing, Trump’s tacky money grabbing antics or the utter madness of the people who pay for this.
So it’s the red sequin shoes vs. the bold, gold high-top. I suggest a blending of the two. Create a red sequined high-top that will become the symbol of revolution as stated earlier in this piece. Meanwhile, buy several pair of the gold numbers, donate them to a local drag show, and bring in the flying monkeys from Oz. I’ll go see that production anytime as opposed to what we see happening daily on the political stage of this country.
Carol Lucas is a retired high school teacher and a Lady’s Island resident. She is the author of the recently published “A Breath Away: One Woman’s Journey Through Widowhood.”
