Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender (DARVO) is a tactic a person may use to deflect responsibility onto an individual they have abused. It is a form of manipulation a person may use to discredit a survivor’s experience.
Someone may use DARVO to make it seem as though the survivor of their abuse was actually the perpetrator. A person who uses DARVO may deny that they have done anything wrong. They may also state that they are the one who has experienced abuse rather than the actual survivor. This form of manipulation may make it difficult for other people to determine who is telling the truth. A person may use DARVO to avoid punishment or repercussions for their actions.
DARVO can negatively affect the mental health of a person who has survived abuse. It can be difficult for a person to feel their trauma is being minimized or dismissed. Additionally, feeling like people do not believe them can be harmful.
It is important for people who have survived abuse to understand that they are not to blame for what happened to them. The responsibility lies with the person who abused them.
DARVO comprises three behaviors:
Deny— A perpetrator of abuse may deny that they have done anything wrong. They may minimize the feelings of the person they abused. For example, they may tell the person they have abused that they are:
- overly sensitive
- blowing things out of proportion
- being ridiculous
Attack— When a perpetrator is accused of wrongdoing, they may attack the credibility and character of the survivor of their abuse. They may bring up incidents from a person’s past to discredit their accusations.
A perpetrator may state that the survivor of their abuse:
- is a liar
- has mental health issues
- misuses drugs or alcohol
- consented to what happened
- has a history of making false accusations
They may also use gaslighting to confuse the survivor of their abuse. Gaslighting is when a person manipulates another person into doubting their own reality. It may cause a survivor of abuse to second-guess what happened.
Reverse victim and offender— A person may state that the survivor of their abuse is actually the one who perpetrated it. Their aim is to discredit the survivor while making it seem as though they are the one who has been abused.
For example, the perpetrator may lie and state that the survivor of their abuse is:
- out to get them
- trying to make them look bad or ruin their life
- trying to get custody of their children
- trying to get money from them
- jealous of them
- angry that they rejected them
Help is available. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of domestic violence, call 911 or otherwise seek emergency help. Anyone who needs advice or support can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 via:
- phone, at 800-799-7233
- live chat, at thehotline.org
- text, by texting LOVEIS to 22522
Many other resources are available, including helplines, in-person support, and temporary housing. People can find local resources and others classified by demographics, such as support specifically for People of Color, here:
- The Office on Women’s Health, https://www.womenshealth.gov
- The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Protection against DARVO. A person may protect themselves from DARVO in several ways.
Learning about DARVO and its signs may help a person identify when it is occurring. A 2020 study notes that people who had been educated in DARVO methods found perpetrators less believable. Additionally, participants found survivors of abuse more believable and less abusive.
Other methods a person can use to protect themselves against DARVO include recording or making note of occurrences of DARVO and other abuse,:
- including dates and times
- setting boundaries for what they will accept and what they will not tolerate
- speaking with a mental health professional
- speaking with a support worker or finding a support group for survivors of abuse
Various support groups and resources are available for people who are experiencing domestic violence, which includes emotional abuse. Some of these resources include:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline, which people can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788
- National Domestic Violence Hotline local resources directory
- VictimConnect from the National Center for Victims of Crime
- StrongHearts Native Helpline for Native American and Alaskan Native survivors of abuse
- U.S. Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women local resource directory
- National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
- intimate partner violence information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)Trusted Source
If someone becomes physically abusive or violent, or if a person feels their life may be in danger, they should call 911 immediately.
Source: Adapted from an article by Anna Smith Haghighi —Medically reviewed by Lori Lawrenz, PsyD, February 15, 2024; https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo?
