By Scott Graber
It is Sunday, June 18, and we’re in North Adams, Mass. It is overcast, 60 degrees, and I’ve found a long-sleeved woolen shirt that gives me a little insulation. It is, I think, a good thing to feel cold in June.
This morning I have an article on beautiful people. Well, not exactly. Actually it’s an article that attempts to analyze people who are attractive. And the piece confirms what we all know — beauty comes with benefits.
Those benefits include confidence, higher salaries, better jobs and the ability to convince others to do what you want them to do. When I was at The Citadel, everyone knew that.
Every cadet knew the tall, physically attractive cadets rose more quickly through the ranks than those who were short, chunky and awkward. Mark Clark, our war hero President, was 6 feet, 5 inches tall and had been dubbed “The American Eagle” during World War II.
We cadets instinctively knew height, strength and good looks were rewarded with “rank;” and that our Regimental Commander was not going to be short, or lump-like, or have a face with bumps.
Because I was small (5-7) I went into a small-sized company (India) along with other likely-to-fail midgets who had large heads and mismatched facial features that were vaguely simian. If any of us had any momentary notion of assuming command, we were diagnosed as having a “Napoleon Complex” and marched off to sick bay.
So it was no surprise for me to read in the Wall Street Journal that beautiful people make more money than less attractive people; that they get better treatment and faster promotions. Studies also show good looking people are less likely to be arrested or convicted and, incredibly, most of us believe that beauty is more than skin deep.
I think I’ve always known there is this tendency to connect internal goodness with (external) good looks but I didn’t know it had a name — The Halo Effect.
But Emily Bobrow’s piece is titled, “The Moral Hazards of Being Being Beautiful.” According to Bobrow the most important question is whether or not “good looking people are more likely to do good?”
There was an experiment (in Hong Kong) where people were given money and raffle tickets and told to distribute these items to others. Xijing Wang — the social scientist who conducted the study — found that the attractive people were more likely to keep the money and the tickets for themselves.
Bobrow goes on to add that attractive people “saw themselves as good looking (and) sensed they had more power and status.”
And many believe that economic inequality in the United States is attributable to those at the top thinking they have the right to the big bucks.
These attractive, good-looking folks (who have won the genetic lottery) tend to think that the redistribution of the wealth is wrongheaded.
In the final analysis, beautiful people often believe that some folks are just inferior to other folks.
All of which brings me to Carlisle, Pa., where several weeks ago I was filling-up my Honda Fit with gasoline. I do not actually know how it happened but I tripped (over the gasoline hose) then fell face first into six inches of reinforced cement.
As a consequence of this fall, I bloodied my nose, “busted” my upper lip and chipped a tooth. I may have sustained a small, momentary concussion because I had this huge behind-the-eyes-headache for two days. And there was a lot of blood.
As I lied on the ground, stunned, I thought, “What the hell, Scott, your face is borderline-grotesque to begin with; this accident simply pushes you squarely into Hunchback of Notre Dame territory.”
Because of a difficult birth and the fact that I went through the windshield of my Corvair when I was a 2nd Class cadet, I’ve always thought I was in Quasimodo territory to start with. I didn’t exactly fixate on my facial deficits because there were so many other deficits to feel bad about.
But now I’m beginning to feel better about the fact that beautiful people don’t know how to share, don’t believe in redistribution of wealth and have a false sense entitlement believing they are born to lead, and like a King David were chosen by God to liberate their people. I’m beginning to believe I’m not greedy, or self-important, or have any desire to lead because I am uniquely unattractive, borderline grotesque.
Scott Graber is a lawyer, novelist, veteran columnist and longtime resident of Port Royal. He can be reached at cscottgraber@gmail.com.
