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The SCUBA diver in the house

3 mins read

By LEE SCOTT

My girlfriend, up north, called to give me some good news a few weeks ago. 

“Guess what! We are sleeping together again.” 

She was referring to herself and her husband. Now, I thought it kind of odd that she should call with this news, but as it turned out, it was very good news. 

She then explained that her husband’s snoring had gotten so bad, that she had been sleeping in the guest room. 

But now he has a new device that he is wearing at night. It is called a CPAP machine and it helps with his sleep apnea. 

You may have seen the commercials for the CPAP machines in magazines or on television. They usually have the man lying in bed with the breathing mask on and the wife sleeping soundly next to him. It makes you wonder how many men get dragged to the doctor after their wives have seen these advertisements.

I knew her husband had some snoring issues. Even her granddaughters did not want to spend the night with them anymore. 

“Pop Pop is just too noisy!” they declared. 

However, I had not realized that excessive snoring was a symptom of Obstructive Sleep Apnea which is potentially a serious sleep disorder.

The couple had tried everything from humidifiers, to fans, to antihistamines, but nothing seemed to help. Then their doctor suggested he get tested and it was not long before the prescription for the CPAP was written.

After a few days of using the CPAP, they were both thrilled how well the device resolved his snoring issues.

And Donna was thrilled to get back into her own comfortable bed. 

They were both sleeping better at night. Then she called her son to have the granddaughters spend the night again. 

Although they were hesitant, she assured them that their Pop Pop had been fixed. Finally, they agreed and were surprised how much quieter the house was at night. 

The next morning the youngest granddaughter walked into her grandparent’s bedroom and screamed when she saw the strange man in the bed with a mask on his face. But her grandmother assured her it was just Pop Pop and that the machine helped him breathe better and best of all – not to snore.

When Pop Pop woke up, he announced that he was practicing with his SCUBA diving gear before he got in the water. Then he showed her the equipment.

But a few days ago, my girlfriend called me again. 

“Bad news,” she said, “I’m back to the guest bedroom again.”

“I’m so sorry.” I said, “What happened?”

“Well, it turns out I snore too loud.” 

Looks like we need some new CPAP commercials. 

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