By Carol Lucas
This is a question for all parents, regardless of your age. How do you react when your child misbehaves?
And perhaps I should extend that question to those who don’t have children to read, “What feelings emerge when you see a friend’s child engage in behavior that is disrespectful and calls for discipline that is not forthcoming?”
I have always been a disciplinarian, with my own daughters and in the classroom. You can ask my former students about how I gained the moniker “Mother Lucas.” If you remember the ad for Chiffon Margarine that was popular in the 1970’s, you will get this. Dena Dietrich would rise out of the mist with the tub of margarine in her hand, proclaiming, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.”
One day when one of my sophomores was acting out, I walked over to him, threw my hands in the air, and declared, “It’s not nice to mess with Mother Lucas.” He knew exactly what I meant as did the rest of the class. The name stuck, and in later years, siblings of that same group would arrive in my classroom, declaring they had Mother Lucas for class. By then this name was well established with no small amount of humor attached.
My belief was and still remains this: learning doesn’t take place in a chaotic classroom. That doesn’t mean you impose so much rigidity as to take the fun out of learning. What it does mean is established discipline, as well as self-discipline, are necessary for a successful education as well as life in general. These, very simply, generate respect.
Ah, respect, which brings me to the point of this article. Another credo of Mother Lucas is, “respect is earned, not demanded.” Folks, it isn’t a quantum leap to recognize that respect seems to have become a lost entity in today’s world.
Discipline and respect go hand-in-hand. Many are the times when how I responded to a situation was miles removed from what I really wanted to say. When I first began to contribute to The Island News, I wrote an article about former President Trump that was less than complimentary. Two days after publication I received a nasty note from someone asking how I could possibly refer to “our President” that way. Mother Lucas chose not to respond, but had she done so, the very succinct wording would have been, “respect is earned.”
Sadly, this situation remains static; Donald Trump’s disrespect is consistent, rampant, and extends even to the courts where he finds himself a defendant. Just when I think this man who occupied the highest office in our country, the supposed leader of the free world, has managed to lower himself, as well as the dignity of the office he once held, he manages to outdo his last outburst.
It should have been squelched from the beginning of his campaign back in 2015. We can all remember the comment regarding what he could do to women any time he wanted because they “loved it.” I am not about to replicate his exact wording.
At some point in that uproar, a male friend asked me, “How could any self-respecting woman vote for him?” Even then, I was at a loss for an answer, and with what has been made public regarding his lack of respect for a woman and her rights, I continue to be dumbfounded.
And how about the respect for our armed forces? Beaufort is a military town with strong ties to our country’s defenders. To this day, Trump still vilifies these brave people, calling those who died in combat “losers.” As recently as two weeks ago, he mimicked John McCain’s “thumbs down vote for the Affordable Care Act” by calling attention to McCain’s inability to raise his arm.
You remember his comment, “I prefer those who didn’t let themselves be taken prisoner.” Dead or alive, John McCain remains a target for Trump’s undisciplined rancor. What kind of person says these things, and just as important, what kind of person justifies it? Two words, my friends: bone spurs.
And now it is the courts. Mr. Trump is the only President in our history to have four indictments, with 91 charges brought against him. One of these includes taking classified documents “because he had the right.”
Mother Lucas will add another homily here: “With every right comes a corresponding responsibility.” It would appear that Donald Trump is bereft of responsibility, and those who so strongly support him encourage that deficiency.
Finally, when I listened to the exchange between Trump and the Judge in one of his many trials, all I could think of was the few times a sophomore might have ventured such a retort in my class and what the consequences would have been.
Judge Lewis Kaplan told the former president that his right to be present at the trial would be revoked if he remained disruptive. After an initial warning, Trump could still be heard making remarks to his lawyers, including “it is a witch hunt” and “it really is a con job.” These could be heard by the jury.
“Mr. Trump, I hope I don’t have to consider excluding you from the trial,” Kaplan said in an exchange after the jury was excused for lunch, adding: “I understand you’re probably eager for me to do that.”
“I would love it,” Trump shot back, shrugging as he sat between lawyers at the defense table.
“I know you would like it. You just can’t control yourself in this circumstance, apparently,” Kaplan responded.
“You can’t either,” Trump muttered.
Teens will test you, but this? I have to wonder exactly what it takes.
Discipline, responsibility, respect. Qualities we try to encourage in our children, qualities missing in a man who wants to occupy the White House once again. Is this really the level of maturity we want? As Aretha Franklin wailed, “Respect, just a little bit.”
Carol Lucas is a retired high school teacher and a Lady’s Island resident. She is the author of the recently published “A Breath Away: One Woman’s Journey Through Widowhood.”
