I choose MY life…

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By Ifetayo White

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid, more accessible;

to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance, 

to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom,

and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

This poem by Dawna Markova is so full of the energy of choice for me. It begins with such a passionate statement of intention for life, then continues with strong words of choice, “I choose to INHABIT my days …”

How is all of this vibrating in you right now? Do you feel fired up about the choices for your life or has some fear crept into your mind or body?

One of the fun practices that I have for myself is to ask, “So, Ifetayo, what fear is keeping you from choosing to have this or that in your life right now?” Owning my life, taking full responsibility for my life is the gift of being a growing human being. It is all mine to choose in every moment of every day — from with whom I spend my time to how much I am weighing right now.

We have all had the experience of being with someone who is living in the pain of an abusive marriage or unbalanced friendship. The first question should be, “Why?” Why this choice? Is the choice to be a victim or martyr, or to inhabit a life of love, of joy, of intimacy? Now is the time for each of us to claim our choice, to move out of the energy of powerlessness or passivity about the gift of our lives.

Guess what, my dears? We also get to choose how we are feeling right now about any situation or experience. It is my choice to feel enraged or impatient driving behind one of our Lowcountry Sunday-going-to-church drivers when we need to get to IHOP before the line for breakfast gets too long. The other person truly has no power over my feelings or responses unless I give them that power. They have given me another opportunity to exercise my power of choice with a wide range of emotions, including just letting go and enjoying the ride.

Taking full responsibility for the creation that is my life at this time and making the choices to change the circumstances of this life often requires us to strengthen our will. When I recognized that living in the city of my birth was no longer nurturing to my spirit, it took lots of willpower to continue to go through all that my desire to move to Beaufort was asking of me. My children, future grandchildren, tons of family and close high school and college friends, childhood memories and a familiar environment — all to be let go in some way as I continued to make plans for my move. But my heart and spirit knew what was right for me, and continuously engaging my will gave me the power to carry out this choice.

I will choose not to live an unlived life. I choose my life!

Ifetayo White offers classes and meditation at TheraVista, in addition to life empowerment coaching, Reiki, trigger point therapy, integrative bodywork, childbirth preparation, education, and postpartum doula services. Contact her at 843-271-1923 or neesamoon@gmail.com.