By Carol Lucas
I have always loved playing board games. From the time I was in grade school, Saturday afternoons, depending on the weather, were spent with my friends playing any number of those that were popular then. We all had them in our homes: Clue, Monopoly, Risk, Sorry, Yahtzee. The cumulative hours spent cannot be accurately calculated, but suffice to say, if we weren’t outside playing, we were at the game table.
I could go off on a tangent and berate today’s situation with kids and their phones. I could bemoan the diminished creativity as a result. And I could lament the same regarding the dumbing-down of interpersonal skills.
But that is not the focus of this column. Instead, I am going to invite you to a game I choose to call “What If?”
What if you were suddenly to assume the Presidency of a company — the brand doesn’t matter; just know that you are the head honcho, the decision-maker. And you know it is contingent upon you to make it function smoothly with as few hiccups as possible. Success is your goal.
What would be your first concern, your first task? If you answered, “having people around me who are experienced and accomplished in the field, people who make me look good,” I’d say, “Bravo! You are on your way to success.”
Now let’s take a look at the positions you have to fill. One includes handling those issues dealing with health. Where do you begin to look? I hope your quick answer would be “those highly regarded in the field of medicine.”
It would seem logic dictates that. Yes, there are the good, the bad, and the ugly in all professions, including medicine. But you want the reflection on you to be a positive one. With all the top flight medical facilities in this country, you have an abundance of options from which to choose.
Pardon me? You’d choose RFK, Jr.? Are you kidding?
Some of Kennedy’s own stated aims are bound up with misinformation, and many medical experts have expressed serious concerns about him, citing his views on vaccines and other health matters.
One of his main false claims, repeated in a 2023 interview with FOX news, was that “autism comes from vaccines.” His approach to removing fluoride from the water also received a “thumbs down” from many professionals with greater knowledge than he.
Sadly, this man, an acknowledged heroin addict who also talks about a dead worm in his brain, has a long and egregious record of promoting misinformation. I don’t think he will provide positive responses to your new company.
So on to choosing who will work diligently and produce results that make your hiring practices noteworthy. Security is paramount, not just for your company but for so much more. It’s important, in fact, that when you are choosing who heads this department, you do a thorough investigation for someone who puts safety and dependability ahead of all else. Someone with an impeccable background.
What’s that, you say? Pete Hegseth? (moan and sigh)
The negatives attached to this man are voluminous. Please consider that he faced allegations of sexual misconduct, financial mismanagement, alcohol issues, and … security issues. Does “Signalgate” ring a bell?
You think he will enhance your image? Come on, even his Mom has reservations about him.
Oh, well. It’s your “company.”
Perhaps you are thinking you need some females on your Board of Directors. We all know what you really think of women, but appearances must be kept. While you have very little time for education in your newly-established “business,” you recognize that necessity.
The last time you tried this, the woman was all for privatizing the system, and that didn’t go over so well. What’s that you say? Linda McMahon? The A1 steak sauce lady? Sir, I humbly suggest that you reconsider.
And while you are doing that, you might also want to reconsider the dog killer. I know she looks good in a T-shirt and that cowboy hat, but toting a gun that she points indiscriminately won’t do anything for your image. Well, OK; if you say so.
With all due respect, one would think that having had a prior shot at setting up this “business” would have provided you with so many lessons, but it would appear that is not the case. My question is simply this: why not choose the best, the brightest? The ones who will make you look spectacular?
Yes, I understand that loyalty is your is No. 1 priority. But to choose those who are obvious buffoons only underscores your own buffoonery … with all due respect. I guess I should have realized this when your choice for second in command was the eye-liner guy. His disloyal commentary about you earlier should have removed him from your consideration. Eating the cats and dogs? Another heads up.
Greenland knew! (another sigh) All of this reminds me of the famous Sarah Palin comment about putting lipstick on a pig.
So the ‘business’ will probably fail … (pause) unless that is your goal. Just my conjecture, sir … again, with all due respect!
Carol Lucas is a retired high school teacher and a Lady’s Island resident. She is the author of the recently published “A Breath Away: One Woman’s Journey Through Widowhood.”
