By Billy Holland
On September 25, 2000, two years after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, 19-year-old Kevin Hines in a state of chaos and despair, attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. He fell more than 220 feet to the freezing dark waters of the Pacific Ocean, slamming into it at 75 miles per hour.
The fall took only 4 seconds, and no one was more surprised that he had survived than Kevin himself. You see, the bridge was completed in 1937 and since that time nearly 2,000 people are known to have jumped to their deaths. What makes Kevin unique? He is the only known survivor.
The impact shattered three of his vertebrae and came within two millimeters of severing his spine and yet he did not die. During his rapid descent, Hines recalled an instantaneous feeling of regret as he prayed, “God, I don’t want to die. Please help me.” While under the water and realizing he was not dreaming, he suddenly had an overwhelming will to live. However, the weight of his clothes kept dragging him down below the surface.
For what felt like an eternity, it took all of his strength to resurface for just a few seconds at a time to take a gulp of air and then he would go down again. Suddenly he felt a strange force from below pushing him upward. What in the world was under him? Only later did he learn that eyewitnesses from the bridge had seen the mystery that was keeping him afloat: a large sea lion came to his rescue by supporting his body above the water until the Coast Guard could pick him up. This true account is nearly on the level of Biblical proportions, and one that we know is nothing less than a miracle.
Experiencing extreme mood swings, Kevin was hearing voices telling him he was not worthy to live, and slowly he was beginning to believe them. Many people suffer from mental diseases and chemical imbalances that are not their fault. Kevin battled suicidal thoughts hours before his attempt.
“I remember waking up my father early in the morning and telling him I loved him. My dad woke up with a concerned look and asked me if I was OK, to which I paused and responded, yes. Shortly after, my father went back to sleep, I remember rocking myself back and forth at the side of his bed in the dark, desperately trying to come up with the words to explain how I truly felt.” That night, Hines hoped his father would convince him to change his mind.
The mind is also vulnerable to spiritual deception when external voices from the dark side attempt to deceive and mislead. King Solomon mentions in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” This verse suggests that guarding your mind and thoughts determines how you live your life.
Every life has been created by God and has a carefully designed purpose. Jesus loves you and wants you to live! He would have still gone to the cross if you were the only person on earth. Thoughts of hopelessness are lies, God will always be our eternal hope! When depression becomes more than you can handle seek help immediately and call on God. He is our great deliverer. Psalm 91 says, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.”
Hines has been a mental health advocate since his recovery and spends his time and energy to encourage those who struggle through the same battles that he knows only too well. As a motivational speaker, he emphasizes the importance of mental wellness and provides lifesaving resources for those who may be struggling with suicide. He encourages men and women to turn to God and ask Him to break their negative thinking patterns.
Hines continues, “If you’re ever stuck in a negative thought pattern you can’t get out of, find a mirror, any mirror, and look into it and say, I am not my thoughts. I am not how I feel right now. I can choose to live, to thrive, and embrace the gift called life.” His survival of the Golden Gate Bridge leap is now the catalyst for inspiring countless others to choose life and reminds us that living mentally well takes time, endurance, hard work, support, and faith.
Billy Holland is an ordained minister, chaplain, and Christian author. You can read more about the Christian life at billyhollandministries.com.
