Presented by Fred Gaskin
There are lots of ways to approach estate planning. I believe any good estate plan includes at least two parts: Drawing up the correct documents, and developing, managing and communicating your intention with your beneficiaries. In my experience, preparing the documents is often the easier of the two parts.
Across various estate-planning goals—whether they be preserving family wealth, creating a philanthropic legacy, or simply providing financial security for future generations—there’s one element that’s essential to any successful plan: family alignment. No matter how much work you put in, your vision may be compromised if your heirs aren’t ready and willing to take on the responsibility of the wealth you intend to share.
Fostering family harmony should be seen as an ongoing estate-planning task. These five tips may help you improve family communication and make other parts of the process easier and more effective.
1. Check in on family
Start with an assessment of current family dynamics. Are members of your family able to communicate openly and respectfully? Are there specific issues, such as second marriages, that may be causing tensions? Ask others to weigh in, too, to get different perspectives.
If you’re hesitant to start a discussion about estate planning, that itself may be a sign that something needs to be addressed.
Even if certain hurdles feel intractable, identifying those issues improves your chances of fostering greater cooperation among family members. You may not be able to fix anything, but at least your plan accounts for difficult family dynamics.
2. Open an honest dialogue
Many people are intimidated by discussions about money, so it’s best not to approach estate planning as a one-and-done conversation. Instead, it might be easier to tackle a few things at a time.
Start by sitting down together and sharing your goals and aspiration for your estate plan. At the end of the meeting, ask to continue the conversation and perhaps suggest a time for the next chat.
Even if your family is good at talking things out, some aspects might need more attention. Are some heirs more engaged than others? Do you sense any entitlement or lurking conflicts? Acknowledging such issues may help prevent problems down the road.
3. Work on your listening
It may be your estate plan, but your heirs are the ones who will have to live with it. So, invite them to tell you how they feel about your efforts to discuss the family’s wealth—or your plans for the estate.
Try to really hear what they have to say. If you do, there’s potential to deepen your connection with them.
4. Put it in a letter
On top of regular, deliberate estate-planning conversations, consider writing a letter that will be shared with your heirs when you pass away. This can be a place to reinforce your estate-planning intentions and your vision for the family money, as well as serve as a reminder of what you’ve done together. It might also help your survivors move forward with unity and purpose.
5. Consider outside help
Family dynamics can feel daunting, but working with a wealth advisor, an estate lawyer, or even a counselor who specializes in family communications can help ease tensions and keep you moving forward—together.
Fred Gaskin is the branch leader at the Charles Schwab Independent Branch in Bluffton. He has over 35 years of experience helping clients achieve their financial goals. Some content provided here has been compiled from previously published articles authored by various parties at Schwab.
Investing involves risk, including loss of principal. Diversification strategies do not ensure a profit and do not protect against losses in declining markets.
Employees of Schwab are not estate planning attorneys and cannot offer tax or legal advice, orcreate and prepare legal documents associated with such plans. Where such advice is necessary or appropriate, please consult a qualified legal or tax advisor
©2025 Charles Schwab & Co., Inc. (“Schwab”). All rights reserved. Member SIPC.
