By LEE SCOTT
During the Christmas season, there are numerous advertisements for engagement rings. This is a time when many couples get engaged, either on Christmas Day or on New Year’s Eve, so the jewelry stores are full of beautiful rings for couples to choose.
After Christmas, the newspaper and magazine ads go from engagement to marriage. There are also endless articles like “How to pick the right wedding dress,” “The best venues for wedding receptions,” or “The right flowers for your special day.”
My favorite articles are the ones that ask, “The ring is on your finger, but is HE the right one for you?”
Let’s face it, in a society where many marriages end in divorce, it is a good question to ask. And the women are normally the ones buying these magazines and taking all the quizzes.
Here are some of the questions I read in a couple of bridal magazines recently. (No, I did not buy them. They were at my hairdresser’s salon.)
“Do you feel cherished?”
“Does he respect your privacy?”
“Does he encourage you?”
Now these are wonderful questions to ponder, but let’s get down to the important questions.
“Does your family like him?”
This to me is a loaded question, because maybe your family does like him, but you don’t like your family.
“Does he cook?”
I am not talking about throwing a slab of beef on the grill and smothering it with barbecue sauce. (Although personally I love that my spouse can do that.)
I am talking about coming home to a cooked meal. For a woman who has absolutely no desire to cook, getting a guy who owns his own cookbooks is essential.
“Does he pick up after himself?”
For a woman who is also a slob, this trait may be part of your compatibility. If you are making enough money, you can always hire a housekeeper. Or maybe you do not care about the mess.
“Is he a sports fanatic?”
If he likes all the same teams you like, he may be a lifetime partner.
Oh, there are other practical questions like:
“Is he financially responsible?”
“Does he want children or not?”
And “What are his religious beliefs?”
But one of my favorites is, “Does he think you are beautiful?”
This is a big one because the problem with dating is that for the most part, everyone is on their best behavior. But when your boyfriend stops at your house when you have the flu, hands you some chicken noodle soup, and tells you how beautiful you are in your old bathrobe and that clip in your hair. That is a man who understands beauty and compassion.
This is a guy who will not care about the dress, only that you are in it.
Lee Scott, a writer and recent retiree, shares her everyday observations about life after career. A former commercial banker responsible for helping her clients to reach their business objectives, Scott now translates those analytical skills to her writings. She lives on St. Helena Island and enjoys boating, traveling and reading.
