NO SHOW HERE: Last Sunday, a male subject called the police asking to meet up with an officer for unspecified reasons. When the officer arrived, the subject was intoxicated, drinking a beer on the steps of the police station. He was charged with public drunkenness. So if you’re looking for a good time with a man in uniform, be sure not to call the actual police at 2:09 in the morning.

FACEBOOK REVENGE: Last Friday an ex-boyfriend was charged with impersonation for hacking into his ex-girlfriend’s social media account. He posted fake messages posing as the victim. Real mature, friend.

BOTTLE BRUISE: Can’t imagine the kind of hangover the victim of last Sunday’s beer bottle brawl incurred when he was hit on the head with a beer bottle after-hours at Club Encore. The violator was charged with assault and battery. Police said, “No one could articulate why the fight started.” And here I thought trying to break bottles over people’s heads was only a stunt for the articulate.

THE BULLY: He didn’t stop bullying just because everyone graduated high school. This Bully verbally intimidated a victim into handing over his hat and money last Friday. The victim was just outside of Sports Nutz in the Beaufort Town Center when he had to cough up his hat and $200. Once a bully, always a bully.

GAME OVER: A “belligerent” female was charged with disorderly conduct last Sunday at 2:25 a.m. for refusing to give police officers the car keys after her driver had been pulled over for a DUI. Honey, is that ever how you get your way? What game were you trying to play?

<em>Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Report items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases.</em>