NICE TRY: An 18-year-old boy was caught drunk in public with possession of alcohol near Bay St. and Wilmington St. After writing him two citations, the police officers turned the boy loose to some of his friends who were supposed to take the boy home. Only a half hour later, the boy was spotted vomiting on the sidewalk still heavily intoxicated. This time, he was placed under arrest and it was later discovered that he had given the officers a fictitious name. Maybe the next time you try to pull one over on the police, you should find a less public place to hurl, or you’ll risk upchucking your identity too.

THE RUNS: When an officer attempted to pull over a car with no taillights, the car sped off trying to flee arrest. The man bailed on his friends in the car, making a run for it on foot. Not only did the passengers in the car identify him, but his photograph was also found. But hey, sometimes you gotta go when you gotta go.

TAXI NAP: One ticked off taxicab driver had to call a police officer when his intoxicated passenger passed out in the cab. The officer had the man sit outside on a bench while he attempted to find him a new ride. When the man came to, he became feisty and verbally abusive toward the officer and was then placed under arrest. It’s a bit sad when even a taxicab won’t give you a ride home, don’t badmouth the officer, man. He’s just trying to hook you up with a ride because no one else will. C’mon now.

RSVP: Two accounts of theft from vehicles this past weekend. One victim left her purse on the front seat of her car with the windows rolled down. Later the purse was found minus a Benjamin. The other victim left her car keys dangling in the trunk lock and, when she returned, her purse and contents valued at $480 were stolen. Just to keep you guys in the know, leaving car windows rolled down or keys in the trunk lock while your valuables are inside the car is as close to a formal invitation as a crook needs.

ELECTRIC THIEF: Over the weekend a television and video games valued at $1,000 were stolen at a location off Second St. Also stolen, $3,200 worth of electronics from Rogers St. and $950 worth of electronics from Hogarth St. Jiggle-a-mesa-cara, this thief is pumpin’ like a matic! If any of your friends with shiny new toys was ever a big fan of the Electric Slide, he/she might be suspect.

<em>Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Report items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases.</em>