COUPLE FIGHTING ETIQUETTE: Arguing with your significant other is only natural but, there’s right time and place to do it. Fighting in the privacy of your home? OK. Fighting in the privacy of your car? Semi-public, but OK. Seeing your man out with another woman shopping on Black Friday at the Walmart? Perfect place to make a scene.

CHINATOWN: Chinatown — the famous NYC neighborhood for black market goods. Does is seem completely appropriate to anyone else that a suspect was stopped in possession of a stolen bicycle with a false name and an ID that wasn’t his near the Chinatown on US 21? DVD movie?

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE: While one man was taking care of business — trying to walk out of the Walgreens on Sea Island Parkway with two DVD players on Black Friday — another man was working overtime. An officer off duty detained the male until local officers arrived. The suspect was found to have an “outstanding warrant” from Berkley County.

TRICKS OF THE TRADE: For shoplifters it’s the oldest trick in the book — no one will suspect you’ve stolen anything if you look confident enough to walk out of the door with it. Stealing requires stealth, unlike the BI-LO shoplifter last Sunday who was caught trying to cart off eight cases of beer from the store at 3:32 p.m. She fled when approached by store personnel and was later identified. Did she really think she could pull off pushing a cart with eight cases without anyone turning a head? She busted her own party. Must have forgotten shoplifting rule number one — don’t get greedy.

HIT THE ROAD JACK: A woman working at Sonic on Robert Smalls Parkway called the police after repeatedly receiving “obscene” and “harassing” telephone calls. How ludicrous of her ex-boyfriend to call and text her all day in a desperate attempt to win back her affection when she was just trying to work, right? Honey, when it comes down to it, you’ve got to listen to that Ray: If she said so, you better pack your bags and go; and don’t you come back no more.

Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Report items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases.