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<h4>By Laura Kaponer</h4>
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<p>Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, such as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.</p>
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<p>In my opinion there is no hierarchy when it comes to addiction. All addiction is painful and often</p>
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<p>traumatic to the person experiencing it.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Addiction Recovery is an ongoing process, one cannot simply be “cured.” However they can retain long periods of sobriety.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Addiction isn’t about simply liking something a bit too much or the occasional overindulgence; it’s about a carnal need to obtain something.</p>
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<p>From an early age I was addicted to food. The specific foods I craved don’t necessarily matter – it wasn’t fresh vegetables. What’s important here is the sense of powerlessness I had over my food, the incessant thoughts about food, planning my life around food, a hunger that was far beyond anything physical.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>There were definitely periods in my life where I had more of a handle on my addiction. I could use the various coping skills I had learned throughout therapy to not give in.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>But for me, addiction doesn’t live in a vacuum. There are so many outside factors that directly impact where I am in my recovery at any given moment.</p>
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<p>Last year, I was experiencing severe stress from my employment situation that led to a relapse in my</p>
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<p>Binge Eating Disorder. I do not blame my former employer because I am the one who has the</p>
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<p>responsibility to maintain my health and wellness. I have countless years of experience in professional</p>
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<p>training in order to manage my illness and it was my decision not to use any of those highly effective</p>
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<p>coping skills.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Why didn’t I use my coping skills? Because giving into my addiction was easier and had</p>
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<p>instant gratification. Simply put, it felt good, and who doesn’t want to feel good when life is making them feel bad?&nbsp;</p>
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<p>That’s the dark road I started to walk down. It started off small because to me a cookie is never really just a cookie, it’s the gateway to the entire box of cookies.</p>
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<p>&nbsp;In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V (DSM V) which is the “bible” mental</p>
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<p>health professionals use to both diagnose and treat those with mental illnesses, Binge Eating Disorder is, in fact, an actual diagnosis all on its own.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>There is a huge difference in someone making poor eating choices and someone having a food addiction/eating disorder. It was so easy for those from the outside looking in to berate me about not making better food choices.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>DSM V explains it better than I ever could:&nbsp;</p>
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<p>“Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following: 1. Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances. 2. A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one</p>
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<p>cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating).”</p>
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<p>There was so much shame surrounding my binge eating, and I would often go out of my way to hide what I was doing from the people in my life.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>I remember once, when I was married, eating a snickers in the bathroom, then burying the wrapper in the trash.</p>
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<p>There were countless times I ate myself, not only to the point of extreme discomfort, but often to physical illness. How many times did I end up on the bathroom floor at my friend's holiday party crying from the pain?</p>
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<p>This past December I had to make a plea for help, explaining I needed my freedom regarding food taken away from me because I was incapable of making the right choices for myself. I had completely given in to my addiction to the point that I did not recognize what an appropriate meal was in regards to portions or the actual food selection, in and of itself.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>I joined a nutritional program that had prepackaged foods with a preselected menu chosen for me. I was to forego any social occasions that involved food. This was a low I had never plummeted to previously in my decades of battling my food addiction. It was time to get my life back.<br></p>
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