Some people place a great deal of importance on the breed of pet they get. I don’t know why, but they do. Both Prof. Percy and I are Heinz 57 varieties and we seem to be doing just fine, thank you very much. Sorry, got side-tracked… Anyway, people can be drawn to a specific breed for many reasons including trivial things that a certain celebrity owns one. But many new pet owners don’t really understand breed differences so here are some very personal definitions which gain clarity as they all answer one question, “How many dogs/cats does it take to change a lightbulb?”

I asked that question at the dog park I go to and this is what I heard:

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, and we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. Why rush?

Border Collie: OK. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that silly lamp!

Doberman: Make me.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

So how would a cat answer that question? “Silly. Cats don’t change light bulbs. My humans do. So when is dinner?”

Need we say more? Dr. Parker T. Barker signing off.