(Or when to invite your in-laws to town for a visit so they will have something to do besides stare at you)

By Lanier Laney

We all love house guests don’t we?  Well, until one too many came this past summer that is! But if you are like me, you are starting to get peppered with questions as to when would be a good time to visit Beaufort this fall, “when things cool down.” So you are faced with two options: either get rid of your guest bedroom bed (as I am in the process of doing) or take a look at my fall event “cheat sheet” below to pick a weekend where a LOT is happening, so you don’t have to be the one “making it happen.” Hint, the weekend of Oct. 21-23 has the most charity events happening for your house guests, which would allow you plenty of lounging around time in your pajamas!

First up:
Weekend of August 27
Cheeseburgers in Paradise at Port Royal Landing Marina
Join FRIENDS of Caroline Hospice for a Jimmy Buffet-themed party featuring burgers, beer, wine, margaritas and live music.  OK, I know it’s not quite fall yet, but this is always a great fun event.

Weekend of September 10
Military Appreciation Day and Free Festival
Contact Amy Kaylor at 843.525.8524 at the Beaufort Regional Chamber of Commerce or email amy@beaufortsc.org for more details as they develop.

Weekend of September 17
Beaufort Tricentennial Parade
Gary Sinise, the actor who portrayed Lt. Dan in “Forrest Gump,” will be grand marshal for the parade. The morning parade through downtown Beaufort will feature floats highlighting periods of Beaufort’s 300 years, said Erin Dean, chair of the Tricentennial Committee. Plus lots of other events will happen this weekend with Gary Sinise in town. Please check local listings for all the fun events.

Weekend of September 30 and  October 1
The 17th Annual Beaufort Shrimp Festival
Always an out of town guest pleaser, the Friday night event features food and beverages and your guests can dance their shrimp tails off with Deas Guyz from 6 to 10 p.m. at Waterfront Park. Saturday has a 5K run and the Sea Island Rotary Club Charity Shrimp Race from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.  Also 15 local restaurants serve wild caught local shrimp at Waterfront Park. For more information, go to www.downtownbeaufort.com

Weekend of October 21-23
Historic Beaufort Foundation’s Fall Festival of Houses &amp; Garden
• Friday antiques lecture/luncheon at Dataw with Antiqueties Expert Judith Miller at 12 noon.
• Friday Candlelight Tour of historic homes from 5- 7:30 p.m.
• Saturday Ramble around Beaufort form 10 a.m. -4 p.m. Eight properties open including the exquisite gardens and grounds of Dean Hall Plantation.
• Saturday wine at Spring Island tabby ruins from 6-6:30 p.m.
• Sunday Kitchens &amp; Cuisines from 11:30 a.m. -3 p.m. Five top local chefs in five private kitchens prepare food for you and your guests.
For tickets and more information call 843-379-3331 or visit www.historicbeaufort.org. Mail order: P.O. Box 11, Beaufort, SC, 29901.

Weekend of October 19-23, 26-30
Ghost Tours Of Beaufort
The ghost tours raise money for CAPA (Child Abuse Prevention Association)
Join CAPA starting at 6:30 p.m. for some fun guided tours through the spooky historic moss-lined streets of downtown Beaufort and hear and actually ‘see’ the stories of the ghosts in the historic homes.  Carriage tours are approximately 45 minutes and walking tours are about an hour.  Carriage tours suggested for little children and anyone not steady on their feet. Space is limited, please call for reservations. Want to get involved? Call 843-524-4678.

Weekend of October 23
Brunch at Dockside
Join Friends of Caroline Hospice at Dockside Restaurant in Port Royal for a fabulous seafood brunch and artist fair to get ideas for your Christmas shopping. Benefits Festival of Trees.

Weekend of November 5-6
Open Land Trust’s  Auldbrass Plantation Tour
From 10 a.m.-4 p.m. America’s greatest architect’s only Southern commission.  Frank Loyd Wright’s Auldbrass Plantation in Yemassee is only open every two years for tours after a nearly 20 million dollar restoration job by Hollywood Producer Joel Silver. Eric Loyd Wright, the architect’s grandson, will give a lecture on the evening of Saturday, Nov. 5, at the USCB Center for the Performing Arts. Wine and hors d’eouvres start at 6 p.m.  For tickets and information on all events call 843-521-2175 or email info@openlandtrust.com.

Weekend of November 10-11
Penn Center’s HERITAGE DAYS CELEBRATION
Your guests will love the 29th Annual Heritage Days Celebration with artist of the year art exhibition; flags of the Gullah people; Fish Fry and Blues Night; old-fashion prayer service; Heritage Days symposium; Saturday parade; Old-fashion craft fair; and center stage entertainment. For a complete schedule of events, visit www.penncenter.com.

Still stuck for ideas for what to do with out-of-town guests?

How about a backyard oyster roast?  Simply head to Sea Eagle on Boundary to get all the oysters and Frogmore Stew fixin’s  you need and you can even buy your oyster shuckers there and shucking table too! (also at Grayco).  Then just steam up a ‘mess’ of oysters and throw em on the table with a bucket for shells.  When the compliments start rolling in from your guests, just lean back and say with a thick drawl (even if you are from Jersey) — ”that’s just what we do down heya in the Lowcountry — backyard oyster roasts nearly every weekend!”