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<p>Recently I found myself sitting in a room full of business professionals anticipating a presentation that, of course, would take my business to the next level even though the level at which I reside has me fearful of looking down. It is partly due to obligatory attendance mixed with sheer curiosity and my eternal need to learn as a decorative garnish.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Originality was not on the agenda, motivational music trumpeting in an attempt to suggest the audience was attending a concert rather than a presentation touted to alter our lives. The chairs were cold and stiff to guarantee maximum discomfort.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>In keeping with a mind that never rests, I could quiet the music, block out the chatter of restless attendees, and ponder the sheer hilarity of it all. Large gatherings always provide ample fodder for the thinking types.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>The speaker was enthusiastic enough to require a third cup of coffee, so I made my way to the underwhelming beverage station. Begrudgingly I poured from a spout that was inevitably going to add to my dry cleaning bill.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Equipped with the necessary tools to survive at least another hour, I trudged back to my cold throne of pain. The speaker had arrived at the rousing personal triumph portion that usually precludes the pulling of heartstrings, the status quo for concealing a sales pitch underneath the guise of enrichment.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Realizing that I had counted my teeth with my tongue enough to polish the enamel, decorated my Styrofoam cup with equally spaced fingernail indentions, and silently recited most of the Canterbury Tales, I nudged myself back to reality.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Have you ever noticed the undeniable changes in facial features when humans surrender to no longer feigning interest? The glazed eyes, long rest between blinking, and a resemblance to lifeless art prevail.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Sitting here, we wait for the part that elevates our business and catapults our intellect while mentally scheduling appointments to see a chiropractor. A familiar phrase arrives that foreshadows closing comments. A presentation to a dominantly female audience would not be complete without the glass ceiling reference.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>A clear indicator of an elaborate eye roll, deep sigh, and the piercing pain of knowing I paid for this is imminent. Absurdity settles as comfortably as a rooster attack as I realize the glass ceiling phrase is as watered down as the mediocre coffee.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>“Is glass symbolic of some grandeur defined?” I ask myself while I make my sixth trip to the water fountain. Within moments, my mind is spiraling out of control, trying to understand the association of achievement to a non-crystalline, often transparent amorphous solid.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>From glass slippers to glass ceilings, it's no wonder women occasionally enjoy bouts of justified insanity. Cinderella is idealized for wearing it, and we are to endeavor to shatter it.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>Lost in the thicket-laden maze of my thoughts, I missed it. The end is the life-changing, elevating business portion. Yet, here I am with a caffeine crash, impressive spinal compression, numerous questions regarding glass, and a solidified belief that a good book in a comfy chair is the better approach to education.&nbsp;</p>
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<p><em>Cherimie Crane Weatherford is the owner/founder of SugarBelle, a long-time real estate broker and a lover of the obscurities of southern culture. To contact her with praise and adoration, email CCWIslandNews@gmail.com. To complain, call your local representative. </em></p>
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