P*SS ON ‘EM: Last Friday a juvenile received three violations: disorderly conduct, trespass of real property and false information to the police. The police caught the boy urinating in full view of the public. He gave no justification for his behavior and initially lied about his identity. He was visiting another youth at the residence but had been told previously by the homeowner not to come there because he was a bad influence. At a boy—show them what you think about that.

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DREAMS ON PAVEMENT: Last Saturday police officers found a man passed out drunk in a parking lot behind 821 Bay St. at 12:38 a.m. He was disoriented and unsure of his own location. Officers attempted to locate someone to give him a ride, but he could not provide any information to help find someone. It’s OK buddy, just go back to sleep; real life was just a bad dream.

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FIGHTING WISELY: Last Saturday after a bumping party off New Castle, a male subject leftover from the party refused to leave the property at 6:31 a.m. He took several charges in the process (public disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, resisting arrest and trespass of real property) after trying to fight the officers. The report said no one was injured. It also said that the subject was “belligerent throughout the encounter and very intoxicated.” Personally, I think it was actually quite responsible of the male subject to refuse to leave at 6:30 a.m.—um, hello, clearly he was wasted. But, you should never hit a cop expecting to win.

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I DON’T WANT TO “MAKE PAPER”: An unknown subject attempted to break into a coin-operated coke machine at the Enmark on Boundary St. You know what, bills are overrated and desperate times call for desperate measures. He was not successful.

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<em>Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases. </em>