OH NO HE DIDN’T: Worse than breaking a nail is ruining a woman’s clothes. Just as detestable as a man who hits a woman is a man who throws bleach on a woman, ruining her clothes. This is precisely what happened last Sunday at the Golden Corral when a man and a woman got into a verbal dispute.

UNDERCOVER — NOT: What is usually a reference to acting with hidden motives or methods was taken all too literally by a male subject last Friday who tried to steal three undershirts from the Dollar Store by putting them on under his T-shirt. It goes with out saying that there is nothing hidden when you’re taking off your shirt in a public general store and putting your clothes back on over the item you’ve tried on from the store in the middle of the isle. No one wants to pay for undershirts, but it’s just something we have to do.

TE QUIERO: Folks at Luther’s got a small glimpse of what it was like to be in one couple’s relationship last Saturday. An intoxicated male was arguing with his suspected wife or girlfriend at the bar. When bystanders expressed concern, he began cursing and yelling at everyone in the area. It must be like dating a Chichuahua: he just barks everywhere you take him.

<em>Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Report items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases.</em>