By Barbara Alexander

In an article I recently read about transitions in life, they said that sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. During those transitions we may have faced times when we have had to say good-bye to something in order to grow.

I can remember times in my life that I had to say good-bye or change things that felt painful to me. I find that my memories have softened with time but when transition meets resistance, our experience can be frustrating and very confusing.

The author referred to identities we have formed in order to move through a particular time in our life. I knew this was an important clarification by the way it felt when I really got it.

In order to grow through the transitions in our life, we may need to say good-bye to the identity we formed within ourselves in connection to certain things in our lives like people, careers, and experiences.

As we grow from childhood to adulthood, transitions become a way of natural progression. But after working with hundreds of women, I have found that transitions are frequently started with a great deal of effort to resist change, to maintain status quo, or to numb out not to mention the sadness that usually accompanies badgering thoughts of failure... and this cycle can continue to circle the camp for years!

So many have found that through a desire to do a good job, fit in or to sustain relationships, they are venturing further and further from the life they were meant to create.

If this continues, we lose bits and pieces of who we really are in an effort to make things work - until one day we wake up and we don’t recognize who we have become or where the dreams we once had have gone.

“An identity that we have formed in order to move through a particular time in our lives...” We either hang-in-there hoping it will get better, or we cut our losses and move on without getting the clarity of direction that makes all the difference.

It doesn’t have to be this way if you just learn how to read your inner compass, the inner signals that are there to guide you so you can move in the direction your heart is calling.

If we can understand the process and get ahead of the game, we can find that lost part of who we really are and learn new and healthier ways to co-create in our lives, ways that that empower the greatest parts of ourselves to flourish.

The incredibly cool thing is that our deepest dreams are never really gone. The dreams about living a life filled with joy, enthusiasm, clarity and love.

When we finally have the courage to tune into our heart’s guidance, we can find our way forward with much more grace and personal bliss.

One of the greatest things I have learned is that our lives are meant to be enjoyed and lived in a way that sustains well-being and inspires our soul. It’s up to me to make that happen!

<em>Barbara Alexander, mentor and life coach, is founder and director of The Sacred You Academy of Epona Ridge, a place for advanced human development through equine experiential programs.  Programs for The Sacred You are located near Beaufort, SC and in Asheville, NC. www.SacredYouAcademy.com</em>